Conservapedia: The Biggest Joke on the Internet

The other day I had the misfortune of stumbling across Conservapedia, obviously the conservative and religious answer to Wikipedia. Since then, I’ve become more and more drawn in by it. Browsing Conservapedia during my lunch hour with a mouth full of food, occasionally stopping mid-chew to reflect on the brazen ridiculousnes of it all, is a common sight at my desk.

So I decided to share the choice cuts of awesomeness with thou, gentle reader, so you can save yourself browsing the toxic mess and go straight to the gold. So without further fuss, “Top 10 reasons to blame Democrats for soaring gasoline prices”:

Top 10 reasons to blame Democrats for soaring gasoline prices

1. Defeat of President Bush’s 2001 energy package
2. Speculation
3. The Global Warming Myth
4. Reduced competition
5. Refinery capacity
6. Coal
7. Nuclear power
8. Insistence on alternative fuels
9. Coastal Drilling
10. ANWR

Apart from the fact that Bush, a Republican, has been in power for almost 8 years. The price of Oil has increased almost 500% in that time. Do I really have to draw a graph? Also had a chuckle at that “Global Warming Myth” thrown in there.

Just for fun I visited their Obama page and, according to my checklist, they managed to fit every little zinger in there that has been questioned about him. Notice, although they say they stray away from editorialising and opinion you can see it’s rife even in their serious articles.

In there, we touch on Islam, bitter, almost every single slip-up he’s ever made.

Obama has declared himself to be a Christian, yet never replaced his Muslim name with a Christian one as many do. Obama downplays his Islamic background by claiming that his Kenyan Muslim father was a “confirmed atheist” before Obama was born, but in fact less than 1% of Kenyans are atheists, agnostics or non-religious.

Apparently his father is not allowed to be part of that minority too. He’s already part of the black minority and is obviously just getting greedy.

Obama wore an American flag lapel pin after 9/11, but later stopped wearing it without adequate explanation. Presumably it would have hurt him with anti-military campaign donors. Recently, he has begun wearing one again, for explained reasons, though it is likely a political pander.

Note the language, anti-military = enemies, probably muslims! Also, “Presumably”, “likely”, all fit in well with their Conservapedia Commandments.

Also, other points of hilarity include: Richard Dawkins, Homosexuality, Evolution and that ol’ chestnut, Abortion.

It is undisputed that childbirth protects against breast cancer, and thus early termination of pregnancy must increase the risk of cancer for the mother compared to carrying that same pregnancy to birth.

You heard it here first, the new tactic… Have babies or get cancer. Without even mentioning axioms such as “Correlation does not imply causation”, the whole page is filled with such bunk. But what did you really expect?